It's the Most Dreadful Time of Year!
by ladyinblue6
Summary: Edward Cullen hates the Christmas Concert. It doesn't help that the new teacher on staff, Ms. Swan, loves it. What happens when Ms. Swan drinks a little too much lemon gin at the staff Christmas party? AH, AU, OOC


**It's my Christmas one-shot for the year! Enjoy!**

* * *

Edward

The annual Christmas concert was not something any of us teachers looked forward to. It included a lot of work and a lot of stress, hair-pulling, and weekday drinking. "Christmas Concert" must mean "Hell" in a different language.

To make matters even worse, the newest member on Forks Elementary School staff, Ms. Isabella Swan, was way too into it. She actually enjoyed this Christmas crap. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas with my family, but I don't see why I need to teach twenty third graders how to sing _Jingle Bells_ while doing a cute dance.

Ms. Swan was working on some elaborate rendition of _Walking through a Winter Wonderland_ with the sixth graders and she made up a dance for the Kindergartners to _Feliz Navidad_. What an overachiever. All the teachers were raving over her. She was like a new toy for them to fawn over. I couldn't remember the last time everyone did that for me.

Besides Ms. Swan, I was the newest teacher. I've been teaching at Forks Elementary School for four years. Technically, I'm not really supposed to be teaching elementary kids. My major is Biology and my minor is Calculus. I'm not really certified to handle third graders or art projects. I'm surprised they hired me.

I do love teaching kids, though. Maybe that's how I've kept my head above water for these past four years. These kids make my day, easily. Some of the stuff that they come up with… You have to admire them for being so fearless. I remember those days when you could do anything without worrying about the consequences. Those were the days… Jesus, I sounded like I was eighty-years-old.

"Okay, kids, let's head down to the gym," I announced. It was rehearsal day. God and I both knew that this was the hardest part about the dreaded Christmas concert. Nine out of ten kids would forget their lines; some kids would end up getting sick… It was just a mess in itself. "Now, remember what I told you about being quiet. The first person that talks loses recess until Christmas. So I suggest you keep your lips zipped."

Emmett McCarty pretended to zip his lips shut and throw away the key. I grinned at him and then led my kids down the hallway to the gym.

Who other than Ms. Swan was waiting there. She was wearing a green silk dress and red high heels. God, she was hot. Like I would tell her, though.

"Hey, Mr. Cullen," she greeted with a smile. "How's it going?"

I shrugged. She nodded with a smile and then knelt down to fix up one of her Kindergartners dresses.

"Miss Swan," Alice Brandon whined. "Jasper pulled the bow out of my hair."

"I did not!" Jasper exclaimed.

"Shh," Ms. Swan chided. "Remember we have to be extra quiet backstage or else we'll ruin the surprise."

All of the kids put their forefinger over their lips while Ms. Swan fixed Alice's hair.

"Okay, children, follow me," Ms. Swan whispered. "It's show time!"

I rolled my eyes as I watched her lead thirty perfect schoolchildren through the equipment room and up the stairs, onto the stage. Why did I get stuck with the hell raisers?

_Feliz Navidad_ blared through the sound system in the gymnasium and I could hear little feet pitter-pattering across the stage. Some of the other teachers were giggling and pointing at the stage. My face slipped into a scowl. I'd never been so jealous of any teacher in my life. Ms. Swan had everyone, even me, wrapped around her little finger.

The song ended and all the teachers whistled and clapped. It was the most enthusiastic cheer I'd ever heard for a Christmas concert number. I now had another reason to hate Ms. Swan.

"Okay, kids, let's go," I murmured. I led them through the equipment room and onto the curtained stage. I put everyone in their positions and straightened some of their clothing. "Remember, I'll be on the floor right in front of the stage. Look at me if you need help. Big smiles and loud voices, okay?"

I walked off the stage and the curtain was pulled. Michael Newton was picking his nose. Wonderful. Some of the teachers behind me chuckled quietly.

_Jingle Bells_ started and the kids started singing and doing their cute little dance. I smiled to myself as I watched. Things were going smoothly. Good. I mouthed the words and did the actions with the kids. The song ended and all the kids were star struck. It had been the first time we'd gotten through the whole song without messing it up horribly. Everyone clapped and whistled for _my_ kids. I did it. I actually got through rehearsal without wanting to off myself.

The third graders exited the stage and came to sit beside me.

"We did it, Mr. Cullen!" Rosalie Hale exclaimed.

"I know, Rose," I said with a smile. "But we have to be quiet now and watch the other children, okay?"

She nodded, smiling with a few teeth missing and some of her mother's lipstick spread across her lips and the skin around her mouth.

"Nice job, Mr. Cullen," a voice murmured behind me.

"Thank you, Ms. Swan," I replied. "It sounded like the kinder's did good, too."

She knelt down beside me, smiling. "Yeah, they were pretty cute. Then again, you can do pretty much anything with a Kindergarten class and it'll be considered cute."

A short laugh escaped my lips. "Yeah, you got it easy."

Ms. Swan nudged me playfully. "You didn't have it so bad either. Your kids have got pipes."

"Don't thank me for that," I breathed. "Thank their parents. Parent-teacher interviews were...loud this year."

Ms. Swan laughed quietly, music to my ears. As much as I despised her in all her perfection, I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to need me as much as I desired her.

"You're coming to the Christmas party tonight, right?" she asked.

Forks Elementary School always had their Christmas party after the Christmas concert. Everyone would be getting drunk anyway, so we thought we might as well do it together.

"I wouldn't miss it," I replied. "Are you?"

She nodded. "I was wondering if you wanted to go together."

My eyes widened for a second. She wanted to go with me? This was unexpected. I had barely ever talked to Ms. Swan. Hell, I still called her "Ms. Swan" while I called everyone else by their first name.

"Um, sure," I murmured. "Where do you live?"

Ms. Swan laughed again. "I live in the same apartment building as you, Mr. Cullen. Haven't you noticed?"

"Apparently not," I mumbled, embarrassed. "Well, I'll be at your door at around eight then. Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's fine," Ms. Swan said with a smile. "Apartment 3-B."

I pursed my lips. She was even on the same God damn floor as me.

"That's embarrassing," I breathed. "Alright. See you then." I paused. "I mean, I'll see you before then, but... You know what I mean."

Ms. Swan smiled. "Okay, Mr. Cullen."

I was an embarrassment to manhood.

--

Generally, I was a punctual person. I was always at least five minutes early for everything, if not more.

Why did I have to pick tonight to be late?

I felt like an ass when I finally knocked on Ms. Swan's door at twenty after eight. My mother dropped by unexpectedly and drilled me on who I was taking to the Christmas party tonight. I loved my mother, really, I did, but sometimes I just wanted her to shut her damn mouth.

Ms. Swan opened the door with a smile.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Swan," I blurted immediately. "My mother stopped by, and, well, my mother is a woman of many, many words–"

"It's fine, Edward," she interrupted. "I would have kept you waiting until around now anyway. The outfit I had planned to wear somehow managed to get gum stuck to it in the wash, so I was going through my closet like a madwoman." I noticed that she was wearing a red satin dress, much like the one she wore at the Christmas Concert. She looked gorgeous in it, and I couldn't imagine what else she had been planning to wear. My cock twitched at the thought. Wait. What?

She blushed slightly. "I'm not usually like this, I swear."

I smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't worry about it. Shall we?" I offered her my arm.

She nodded and slid her arm between the crook of my elbow and my body. We talked about school, of course, the whole way there. I'd never met anyone that loved teaching as much as Ms. Swan. Her eyes lit up as soon as she started talking about her class. She became more animated, more alive. Well, at least one of us had found our calling.

The Christmas party was small, as usual. There were only nine teachers, three assistants, and a secretary. It was a good party nonetheless. We just had it in the staff room at the school so we didn't have to pay any rent. BYOB and all that.

Luckily, we had a male principal. Usually the girls got the elementary jobs and the guys took on high school. Thank God I had found one of the rare schools that had another male staff member. In fact, I could honestly say that I did not have one male elementary school teacher. All of my teachers from elementary school were over-weight women in their late-thirties or early-forties, each of them with at least one child in the class. Ah, those were the days.

Mrs. Guttormson brought Dirty Minds for us to play. It was a riot. The most unexpected people had the dirtiest minds.

Mrs. Cope, the oldest member on staff, snorted. "It's not cock, but it's all I can think about!"

Mr. Banner's face was almost purple he was so embarrassed.

Ms. Swan, who was probably the drunkest member of our staff, fell off her chair she was laughing so hard. "Oh... Mrs. Cope."

Mrs. Cope chuckled quietly, the whiskey in her glass swirling a little. "Well, what can I say?"

"Don't say anything," Mr. Banner begged. "Please."

I chuckled a little and Ms. Swan started crying she was laughing so hard.

"Calm down, Ms. Swan," I teased.

She wiped her eyes and looked at me. "Stop calling me Ms. Swan, Edward! We've been working together for four months!"

My cheeks lit up. "Um, sorry, Isabella."

"My name is _not_ Isabella," she practically growled. "It's just Bella."

"Okay, _Bella,_" I said quietly, embarrassed to the extreme.

Bella smiled. "That's more like it."

I was quiet the rest of the evening.

Finally, two o'clock rolled around and everyone decided to head out.

"C'mon, Bella, let's go," I begged. She refused to leave until the last drop of lemon gin was gone. "It's already 2:30. We've been here by ourselves for half an hour."

"I know," she replied. "Edward, did you know that lemon gin is called the panty dropper?"

I blushed for the second time that night. "Yes, I've, uh, heard that."

Bella held the bottle and stared at it pensively. "Lemon gin's never really done that to me. I just act...stupid."

"Doesn't that happen to everyone when they're drunk?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I guess I act especially stupid while under the influence of lemon gin. Like, this one time, in high school, I went to a house party and crushed a bunch of lemon gin, and when my boyfriend was ready to leave, I hid in the closet. And when he tried to make me leave, I pelted him with Mandarin oranges. I still don't know where I found those oranges..."

I chuckled quietly. "That's quite funny, actually."

"Mike didn't think so," she mumbled before yawning. "He was my ex. He is my ex." She sighed. "We just broke up before I came to Forks."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what to say when it came to women in general.

"But that's in the past!" Bella exclaimed, standing up from her chair. "I don't need Michael Newton! I don't need any man!"

"Amen, sister," I murmured with a grin.

Bella looked at me, her usually warm milk chocolate brown eyes darkened. "Edward, I know that I said that lemon gin wasn't a panty dropper for me, but tonight might be the night I make an exception to that rule."

I gulped. "What?"

She walked towards me. Hell, she stalked me like a predator did its prey. I was turned on to the point of pain.

"You only have one dimple," she stated. "Did you know that?"

"Well, yes, of course I knew that."

"It makes your smile kind of crooked," she continued. "It's sexy. Maybe that's the real panty dropper."

Did Bella Swan just tell me I have a panty dropping smile?

Bella straddled me and I stiffened. Everywhere.

"I've had my eyes on you since I moved to Forks," she breathed, her hands undoing my shirt. "Before I knew you were my co-worker. I saw you in the hallway at the apartment." She pulled my shirt off and started working on my belt. "I dropped a box full of picture frames. Shattered them all." She undid the button and zipper of my pants. "Then I found out you were a teacher her." She groaned against my chest. "I knew I couldn't have you, but I want you _so damn bad._"

Bella undid the zipper of her dress and pulled it over her head, smirking the entire time. I couldn't believe a girl like her would want me, of all people.

"I... I didn't know," I blurted. "I didn't know you were even the least bit interested in me." God, I was unbearable hard.

"Oh, Edward," she moaned, her hips contacting my cock. She leaned in, her hair curtaining us from the rest of the world. She kissed me chastely once and then looked at me for a second before kissing me hard, plunging her tongue into my mouth roughly. My hands grasped her bare hips, pulling her closer to me. "Can you please just fuck me?"

I stiffened everywhere again. "You're damn right again." I lifted Bella up and set her on the table. She undid her bra and slipped her panties off quickly, her eyes twinkling and her body shaking with anticipation. I pulled my pants and boxers down quickly.

My mouth immediately went to the tits I'd been ogling ever since Bella had come to Forks. Her hands laced themselves through my hair and her moans filled the air.

"Please, Edward," she gasped in a husky voice. My cock got unexpectedly harder. God, she could get me going like no one else.

Once again, I lifted Bella up, but this time, helped her onto my cock. She gasped when she was fully seated. I moved slowly, letting her tight pussy adjust to my size. I groaned at the closeness of her. She was so soft and warm, and oh, fuck.

Bella moaned loudly, her head thrown back, exposing her pale neck and bringing her chest into my face.

"Edward!" she groaned loudly. "Harder, harder."

I grunted as I plowed into her. I was so close, but I didn't want to embarrass myself. If Bella didn't get off, I would let her take my car home while I made the walk of shame.

My hand went to her pussy and I began rubbing her clit roughly. She responded to it greatly. I felt her tighten around me as she gave into an orgasm.

I couldn't believe that she had gotten tighter. That automatically trigger my own orgasm. I rode out the waves of pleasure as quietly as I could, but it was one of the best lays I'd had.

We were panting hard, staring at each other in shock. I'd just fucked Bella in the staffroom. This room would never be the same again.

* * *

**I'm not a teacher, but I know how stressful the Christmas concert is. Hell, I was in one for seven years. I hated it. It sucked. I feel your pain, teachers.**

**Merry Christmas!**

**Mary**


End file.
